Today, I felt my heart drop to my stomach.
I opened Instagram, and the first thing I see is his account, his profile picture circled in green rim.
My heart skips a beat. I’m in his close friend’s story.
I feel my mouth smile as my thumb presses the heart button.
Immediately, I’m washed in regret, realising we’re both still in no contact. Even more humiliating is that he uploaded the story 43 seconds ago.
For a second, I close my phone upon reflection before opening it again to check if I was dreaming.
His story’s not there anymore.
My heart dropped to my stomach.
There are two things to this: he either took me off the list or deleted his story.
As much as I wanted to delude myself with the latter, I couldn’t ignore the possibility that he wanted me out of it.
That he doesn’t want me to have access to his life anymore.
Is he right for that? Of course. Does it hurt? Definitely.
Although it doesn’t really make sense if, so to say, he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. Because we still do follow each other on Instagram.
I still have his number. Him having my number is out of my knowledge, and I don’t think I’d want to know if he does or doesn’t.
Good Lord, free me from this torment.
Whatever you're going through, whether it's something big or small, know that you're not alone. Life has a way of throwing us curveballs sometimes, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed or uncertain.